making myself at home

We have lived in our house for three and a half years now, and today I sat on the back step in the sunshine and I thought 'I really love this place'. It has taken me this long to feel that way but without realising it, it has crept into my soul and it now feels like home, really home.

When I moved from my last house it was with a great sadness, which might seem strange when you know it was to move in with the lovely man who is now my husband, but nonetheless it's true.

It was architecturally nondescript, rather small, overlooked by everybody, and with hardly a tree in sight. Yet I loved it because it was full of happy memories of my children growing up, it felt safe and loved and comfy. When we left I missed it dreadfully for months and months.

Our current house is at the end of a no-through road, private and wild, large and beautiful with lovely architectural features, a big garden full of trees and birds and lots of room for everybody. But it's not in such a 'nice middle-class' area, and we have lots of noisy, chaotic students who leave rubbish and shopping trolleys for us to tidy up. It took me a long time to feel this place was familiar and safe. We worked hard to make it beautiful and home-like, but even then the emotions didn't follow obediently.

I guess it's about people, the passing of time, and creativity. Making a garden, watching it grow, eating with family and friends, laughing, crying, sewing and painting and spreading things out on the floor... over and over, gradually and slowly, a place feels like home.

I'm so glad the tide has slowly changed. Life continues to be complex and messy but it is wonderful to feel at peace in my space.

I took all these photos on Thursday in the lovely spring light. Everything is so green, it is quite magical.

15 comments:

Gigibird said...

It has taken me as long to feel at home in my house……we moved from a dreadful area but I loved my old house…we are now in a nice quiet area but our house doesn’t really work……but it will one day.
As I ‘found’ you through the wonderful Flickr I have seen your house develop especially your garden which I regularly drool over when my own is disappointing me.

Gilly said...

I'm so pleased you now feel at home. I know its a lovely house, and you have made it beautiful. Your personality and giftedness is all over it.

And the magnolia tree has come good this year!!!

Hens Teeth said...

I had goosebumps reading this post!

Jackie said...

I know how you feel I think. There are people in this world who could live anywhere and move with great regularity. I moved here 24 years ago and I love it but th egreat upsetting and achingly disappointing feature is the garden. Its a real struggle to which I am unequal and I've given up.Yours is lovely light and sunny. I'll enjoy it.

Ricki said...

Sue, it's a really lovely place. . . I feel quite serene just looking at these gorgeous photos! Glad you feel at home there now. I am still dreaming of finding my own home about which I'll feel the same.

PS I FINALLY updated my blogroll to include your new blog--sorry it took so long!

Frances said...

Hello to you, Sue, and many, many thanks for this gem of a post.

What a beautiful home you and your family have created, day by day. The photos show such grace, serenity, tender care.

I hope that little by little those living nearby will realize that they too might have a beautiful home of their own making.

(Also want to say again how much I enjoy seeing your calligraphy! To my eye, it is very much alligned with your beautiful embroidery.)

xo

Tina ♥ said...

What a beautiful post. And so true. It took me years to feel at home here too, but isn't it a lovely warm feeling when homeliness sweeps over you at last? Your home looks lovely. xx

Sue said...

Thank you for all your kind remarks everybody. Feeling at home is a great blessing which I won't take for granted anymore. Have a good week x

Ashbee said...

I'm really glad that after all your hard work, you have finally found 'home'...such a wonderful moment when you know you are settled. And the photos are lovely ... you've created somewhere special. Congratulations!

Hollace said...

Welcome Home. I know what you mean about a place growing from a shelter to a project to an identity.

Lyn said...

I know what you mean. I cried and cried when we left our old house. But in time you make new memories in the new house and now you couldn't drag me away from this house, I love it so much. Your garden is lovely too!
Love
Lyn
xxx

Sue said...

Thanks again, especially to Ashbee - I can't find any other way to contact you, so hope you read this :-)

Poshyarns said...

You put it beautifully.

cocoa and blankets said...

your garden is magical...I love your photographs....I love my home very much but often find it so big and unmanageable...I often dream of our first house which was a teeny two up two down...in the dreams we are going back to live there and I always feel desperately sad....funny isnt it...thank you for sharing

wildforNature said...

I think I "got it"