five


Today my funny, clever, loving and beautiful granddaughter is five. If I'm honest, this is really what I've been doing all this time. This is what's been absorbing me, keeping me awake at night, frightening me, limiting me, making me laugh, making me cry.

My son and his then-girlfriend were very young when she was born. Her mother had very little support from her family and so we had to rally. Suddenly a little person drove the pace. I say 'we', but it was mostly me, driven by love and compassion. My son has grown and blossomed into a strong and loving father and I am intensely proud of him and his brother, a devoted uncle. There have been many difficult times. My son now cares for my granddaughter full time and she is happy and thriving. That is the main thing. Along the way I lost a husband and a home and any energy for anything but survival. I am not being melodramatic or asking for pity, in fact I am choosing to hold things back rather than reveal too much. But she is five. Five! We have come so far. And we have survived.

25 comments:

Heloise said...

Life can throw us some very demanding situations. How wonderful to have someone so special in your life.
I wish you the very best in the coming months and years.

Gina said...

There is something very positive and uplifting about this post. She is a very lucky little girl to have such a special dad, uncle and grandmother. x

alice c said...

Sometimes, after periods when life crowds upon you, there is a moment of acute clarity when everything makes sense and the things that are unimportant take their proper place at the back of the stage.

Gina is absolutely right - this post is such an uplifting statement about the power of love.

Sue Hall said...

What a lovely photo. Being a Grandmother throws up feeling you never knew you owned, so glad you have this blessing and thank you for the honesty of your blog over such a hard time.

Pearly Queen said...

Well done! You have succeeded where others would just give up.

Love

Penny
x

acornmoon said...

To have raised a child in love and compassion is an amazing achievement. You should be very proud of yourself. Well done all of you, especially you. x

rossichka said...

Happy Birthday to your sweet granddaughter, Sue! She is your sunshine!:) A childhood, full of love and care, is the most important thing you can give her. Thus she will grow strong, self-assured and happy! What a wonderful family you are!! Best wishes to your sons and hugs for you!:)

Frances said...

Sue, I send Happy Birthday wishes to your granddaughter. How lucky she is to have your love. Five years old! As I read this post I flashed back to that last century when I myself was five years old and loved visiting that time, and actually wept a bit at those happy memories.

Best wishes to you, dear Sue, for all the survival strengths you have gained while retaining your very own sweetness.

xo

the veg artist said...

Happy Birthday, little girl. And well done her dad (and you, of course).

Julie Whitmore Pottery said...

I've learned that during times of duress and upheaval people will sometimes react badly and even fly the coop, unable to cope. It can be numbing to deal with the situation and at the same time to these surprising reactions that chafe at the situation and make it all the more difficult and complicated. But with survival comes insights and it sounds like you have the mindset to forge ahead.
Your sons sound amazing; determined and compassionate and I can only imagine what a treasure the little girl is.
I hope many happy times wait ahead for you.
julie

Helen said...

Hello Sue, and a happy birthday to your grand-daughter. How wonderful that you have each other (and others too of course! But specially each other). I am sorry you've been having such a monumentally crap time of it, and hope very much that soon light and energy return.

Very best wishes to you both, Helen

Toffeeapple said...

I don't want to to appear to be flippant, but - oh my - you have a grand-daughter; how I envy you. xx

Isabelle said...

What a lovely, but sad post. I'm so glad that you still have contact with your granddaughter (I have a friend in a similar situation who never sees hers, and now isn't likely to do so) but it sounds as if things have been really hard.

That photo! of the little baby hand on the beautiful quilt!

I'm so glad that you have survived.

Monica said...

And what a role model you are being!!

well done.

Annie @ knitsofacto said...

Belatedly, a vary Happy Birthday to her.

And happy, happy day wishes to you.

Sometimes, lost in the heart of the forest, it seems impossible that we will ever find the way home, but you just keep walking and eventually you are standing in the sun x

Rosie said...

Keep right on surviving ... just put one foot in front of the other and carry on walking. One day you will do so with real joy again. XX

jasmine nile said...

thanks ,,,,,,,,,,

Elizabeth Musgrave said...

In a very different way we have had a long winter and spring of loss and difficulty as my mother died and my father descends into the nightmare that is motor neurone disease. We too are still here and helped hugely by our children and the emergence of the new generation of grandchildren. Passing it on, my father calls it, passing the baton. Sounds like the baton is being passed on with great love and strength in your family. x

chandrakanta das said...

such a beautiful photo..the little hand looks v determined!Losing a home is really tough ..we are in the process of trying to sell our family home with mango trees and a large garden .My father who lived there for 60 yrs died last year and we live in another city so it has to go ..but there is deep sadness.I live in New Delhi ,India and follow yr blog. I love what you post and enjoy the books that you mention i work as a picture conservator and am trying to be a botanical artist as well..All the best to you from New Delhi!
Chandrakanta Das

Sue said...

Thanks Chandrakanta! It's lovely to hear from you. I wish you all the very best with your botanical painting. I'm envious of your mango trees. Good luck with your life changes. All will be well in the end I'm sure. Best wishes, Sue

Anonymous said...

...wow! I stumbled upon your blog pages simply because of the name..mouse...but you have really made more that a mouse's affect on me...more than that sweet little story dog could, too! everyone offers words of solace and support, but maybe what you need to hear is that your story, your words have made me realize that I am not alone...I am not the only one with overwhelming issues and if you can light and whisper good thoughts into sky candle, still live in your stressed out house and show us your grandchild's precious little hand...then together we can tell ourselves we can do this! we can find the pretty things, we can smile and we can believe that it will be okay! take care...

JP said...

you have managed so much - there will be brighter times - the blessings of a grandaughter can never be ubderated- take care

rossichka said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rossichka said...

Hi! Just coming here to wish you a lovely Autumn season!:) Hope that you are O.K.!!

Cottage Garden said...

Just stopping by again to say hello.

Sue, I Hope you are well and settling in to your new home and that the past few months have been better for you.

I think of you often ...

Jeanne
xx