nothing to show

I don't think I have ever started a post without a photo before, but I honestly have nothing to show and no nice pictures on my phone, so if I am to start any kind of a post at all in 2014, it's going to have to be words-only.

This year is not panning out like I hoped - at least not yet anyway. I have moved into my house but am nowhere near settled. The builders turned out to be awful in every way and left me with thousands of pounds worth of work that needed finishing, replacing or repairing. I am currently dealing with a collapsed and broken drain under the brand new concrete floor. The central heating is so badly fitted that the noise it makes is almost unbearable. The roof blew off in the storms. Nothing seems to work properly. There are a myriad unpleasant smells. I have acres and acres of painting to do before I can put up pictures or curtains, and the 'garden' is a joke.

All this has been so overwhelming and demoralising and unsettling and lonely and difficult. Those of you who know me well know that it has almost broken me, but, look! I'm still here. I haven't lifted a crochet hook or dug any soil or opened a book other than to look at pictures or cooked a half-decent meal and I certainly haven't looked at my paints or unpacked my sketchbooks or made anything other than a mess. But, maybe I will one day. And then I'll have something to show.


rossichka said...

Dear Sue, yesterday I came here to see whether you had posted something. And now - here it is! It's nice to hear from you, although there's nothing special as you would probably say. But, no, everything is special - because this is your life now, these are your feelings, worries, troubles and hopes... I am sure everything will be just a memory soon and you'll have again numerous occasions to smile and to feel joy in your heart.
Thinking of you and sending you warmth!:)xx

the veg artist said...

Well, it's nice to see a post, but that does seem like a lot of problems when you've just moved in. Excellent blog material for a while though! Go on, have a detailed moan. We can take it. Many of us have been there and have the builders bills to prove it.
(My builder had a heart attack in my drive, having just finished the demolish stage and before starting the rebuild!!!) (He's still alive.)

Frances said...

Sue, I have been thinking of you, and wondering if I should send you a message.

And is a post. You've written a post about what real life can contain, even if some of those sights are quite unwelcome. How I wish that I did live closer to your part of world so that I could help you with some of the House Stuff, or at least take you out for a meal.

Yes, as the prior commenter wrote, you will get past this. It's crummy that you actually have to be in it right now.

Thank you so much for doing a post, a real life post. I admit to not always (or ever) really writing blogs about the dark shadows. They do exist. How glad I am when via hook or crook or something else, I am able to put those days behind me, and find it possible to explore some other possible territory.

Your creative artistry is being fed all the way along this path.

Love to you, dear Sue. xo

Julie Whitmore Pottery said...

About as straightforward and honest as it gets. Just so you know you are not alone in some things; I have been disappointed in the remodeling that the person left and never finished, there's some bits left undone and gaping holes about that have to be fixed,
much money spent and its all on hold. I'm concentrating on the Garden and working with whats done , so I can rest my eyes on some finished spots, and it does help. I make a very small list and feel satisfied if I just get half of it done. Just as things were turning a corner, my kiln up and expired and I've had to order a new one. Pricey, and there goes the bathroom remodel! I feel such a fibber as I always am so relentlessy cheery on my blog.
Your talent and ideas are on simmer right now, and when that happens the broth just gets richer and thicker and eventually you will create again, and it will be better by the character you have shown to get thru these tough, frustrating times.
Well written words always conjure up better pictures than could be taken.....and your words are always stellar.

Alison said...

All I can say is that hearing from you, photos or no, is always special and wonderful... so very sorry that the builders did such a rubbish job! I shall not share my own tales of workmen doing badly, but rather send you kindhearted thoughts and wishes to carry you through to a brighter future.

~ Alison of Acorn Cottage

Karen said...

Oh Sue what a time! I too had been wondering about you and hoping that you were in and settled in your little house. How dreadful for you. One of my favourite mantras for times such as these is 'this too shall pass' . You sound like you have been through so much but you are still here. Strong women can do anything! Lovely to hear from you. Don't stay away x

Effie said...

Nice to hear from you....things will get better... It might not seem like it but they will...

Anonymous said...

I have read your blog on and off for a while but have never commented before. I am very grateful that you have posted - especially something that is so honest. It made me think of the poem -The Guest House by Rumi. You will come out the other side and perhaps something truly wonderful is waiting for you to emerge. I really hope that you start to see some sunshine soon. Take care of yourself. Emma x

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing. It was lovely to find a post from you in my reader and then I was immediately swathed in guilt because my own problems are so small in comparison to what you're suffering and I'm powerless to help you. I think that right now would be an excellent time to get your paints and paper out and have some well-deserved fun. Doing what we most enjoy is balm for the soul and it might take your mind off the house problems even if just for a short while. Stay strong.

Toffeeapple said...

I am so sorry to hear about your problems, life shouldn't be that difficult. I do hope that everything will be resolved to your total satisfaction so that you can get on with living your real ife.

Hugs, m'dear!

Annie @ knitsofacto said...

Good grief, what a nightmare you're living through ... that you've a found a moment to visit this space at all illustrates what a trooper you are methinks, although that's probably not how you feel right now. Here's hoping you're out the other side of all this really soon x

Clive Hicks-Jenkins said...

Hello. Clive here… whose 'still life' paintings you've linked to in 'currently enjoying'.

What a catalogue of horrors. There must be some specialised level of hell reserved for incompetent builders who make lives so unendurable. I'm so cast down to hear of your woes. It's not a lot to expect that your hard-earned money should see the improvements wrought that would make your new home cosy, and yet it's being denied you. Please keep your spirits up. and hold fast to your goals. It's a wretched thing to be struggling toward alone. But I can see from the messages here that many are reaching out with warm good wishes to support you. I do hope that summer brings some changes for the better.

Very Best
Clive Hicks-Jenkins




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