...that the 'mighty oaks from little acorns' thing turns out to be true.
This week I've been doing some more painting, none of which would pass an O-level I'm afraid, but you have to start somewhere. I've been learning how the paint behaves and which brushes to use, and for the first time in my life I'm starting to understand the importance of pigments and colour mixing and all the things that you just aren't taught on a Textiles degree. It's frustrating because my mind is seeing big things that my hands can't yet produce, but I'm really enjoying it, and am starting to have a little more confidence in the medium.
I've also been doing a lot of thinking about the expectations we place on ourselves and asking myself some searching questions:
What if I didn't feel like I have to leave something of value in this life? What if everything was wiped at the end of each day?
What if nothing was attributed to individual effort anyway and we were all part of a whole, and it was a collaborative production?
What if I didn't feel I had to do 'something useful'? Who is determining what is useful anyway?
What if there's no pressure of time? What if it doesn't matter that I'm getting older because each day stands alone as a single entity, and this one is as precious, valuable and full of potential as one I lived through thirty years ago?
Scary? Wacky? Obvious? Liberating?