I found myself doing much more reading on my ‘art holiday’ than I had imagined, as I got a terrible cold which confined me to bed for most of the week. At first I was irritated, even angry about this, but decided to be open-minded and spend the time reading, writing and thinking productively even if I didn’t produce much work. I spent a fair bit of time working rather haphazardly and sketchily through The Artist’s Way*, which although definitely qualifying as navel-gazing of the highest order, did prove to be quite illuminating and helped me make sense of some of the thoughts spinning round my head. I was particularly inspired by the exercises to identify your creative dreams and aspirations. In between sniffing and sneezing and eating too many Easter eggs, I learnt/admitted/discovered these things about myself:
- I would like to paint large canvasses
- My most cheer-me-up music is trad jazz
- I’d like to learn printmaking
- I worry a lot about wasting time
- I’d love to dye my hair very blonde
- In another life I’d be a singer in a band or a window dresser for Anthropologie
- I wish I was braver
- I’d like to own red shoes, more silver bangles and an easel
- When I was a child I wanted to be a ballet teacher
- I am getting better at believing in myself
What I need to do as a matter of urgency is carve out regular, uninterrupted time for myself to paint and draw. How I do this I am not yet sure... what I do know is that, perversely, it is something inside me that stops this happening just as much as external events. I need to stop fighting myself.
*The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron
