quiet

This week I've had so many ideas for blog posts which never made it out of my head. All my thoughts seem to be floating off like untethered balloons at the moment, and I can't seem to round them all up and tie them down again. I keep starting things and finding that they take far longer than I thought, nothing seems to work out as I intended, and getting disheartened and losing interest.

The new blog header, for instance. I thought it would be a matter of minutes to take a new snap, process it, add some type, and away we'd go. Ha. Everything but everything took ages and felt like reinventing the wheel, and all the while I got more and more fed up with the old one and more desperate to change it. So we're making do with a plainer version for a while.

To be honest, I feel squirmy even sharing all this. I didn't want this blog to dwell on the tedious humdrum of my life. After all, I'm meant to be 'making, thinking, drawing, painting, sewing, reading'. Well, I am doing a lot of reading, but otherwise my creativity seems to have wandered off. All I feel like doing is ordinary, domestic things like crochet and gardening.

A lot of this is due, of course, to the massive emotional expenditure of becoming a grandmother to my teenage son's little baby: a wonderful, colourful, incredible experience but charged with a lot of anxiety and responsibility I don't always feel up to. (A huge, huge thank you to all of you, by the way, for your sweet and lovely words of support and congratulations this week. It's meant a lot.) Other things are in play, too, as always. But the result is, I don't have a lot of originality to share with you just now.

So, I thought I'd tell you about some of the things that have been keeping me going and engaging my interest over the last few days. I've been inspired to get back into a pattern of good, healthy eating and cooking, something I've been very lazy about recently, and Lucy's blog Nourish Me has been a major source of inspiration and ideas. Even the name is soothing and nurturing, and helps me to believe in the power of the senses to heal and energise. I've been listening to music again (especially these two favourites), getting out in the fresh air in the beautiful Peak District National Park, and adding some colour to my life by painting my toenails turquoise.

Although I don't watch a lot of tv, the other night I stumbled across a programme so absorbing I almost turned inside out with interest: the BBC documentary Six Degrees of Separation, which looked at the science of network theory and some of the amazing discoveries and connections which have recently been made in this field.

I've also been thinking a lot about some of the ideas shared by Mal in her brilliant blog Turning*Turning, and in particular this post and its comments, about Julia Cameron's concept of 'shadow artists'. Really, really thought-provoking. She's also written insightfully about creative block, and along the same lines, Pikaland's 'Good to Know' project and Etsy talks have filled me with ideas to help get creativity flowing again. Perhaps I need to read some of it again...

Above all, I've been enjoying the green flourishing of spring in the garden. The leaves are almost full on the trees, and flowers are appearing everywhere in beautiful whites, greens, blues and mauves. This is my 'everyday' view, the one I see when I sit for a few minutes on our wooden bench outside the back door, drinking a cup of tea, just soaking up the silence and the trees, looking, listening and thinking.

16 comments:

Neza said...

I've been reading your blog for some time and I find it very inspiring, especially your beautiful embroidery. That is why I loved your banner :) I'm sure the new one will be lovely too!
Last week I started to crochet some squares with dots for a pillow cover, I liked your blanket a lot, thank you.

One of my friends will have a baby soon and I'd like to sew her a baby blanket, but I'm not sure about size. How big did you make it?

Thank you for your answer and congratulations for being a grandmother, the baby girl looks so sweet.

Neza

Sue said...

Hi there Neza, thanks for commenting. The baby blanket was about 35" square - it should perhaps have been a bit longer but it looked fine:-) Good luck with yours.

Malissa said...

Maybe it's an incubation time. Sometimes, for me, the "quiet" is a breeding ground. It means that I have something in me that is not quite ready to be born, yet. I sort of love those times. I don't want to lose sight of making all together, so sometimes I'll do something mildly creative (and it often has to do with cooking, interestingly!) but as soon as your ideas are ready to hatch, I bet they will.

We are caring and supportive from here. Take your time doing what you need to do.

Jackie said...

I think I like your plain header. It doesn't distract..it fits in with your blog feel.
No matter how much you tell em your garden is shady, it still has a hell of a lot more in it than mine does.
The shadow artist post is interesting, but people work in 'other' jobs for all sortd of reasons and I don't think it makes them less of an artist. In fact it could be considered to make them more so because they are not producing art for money, they have other income so their art can be just purely for pleasure.
Its a tricky one.
x

Jackie said...

Sorry too many typos. Its late.

Hollace said...

It sounds like a very rich week mentally. Give yourself time to ponder...Actually, you have done more cultivating and reading and organizing than I do on a good week...so enjoy being a Grandma. Just think about that baby and your hopes and dreams for those young parents and it.

Gilly said...

Give yourself a break! You've had a very hard emotional few weeks, especially the last one!

And if those photos aren't creative, then I don't know what is! Especially the welsh poppy. I would never have though of taking it at that angle against that lovely stone.

And what a lovely white dicentra! Mine are pink, lovely, but pink! ;)

Jo said...

You have a fabulous garden, Sue. I'm envious! I love the photos; they have such a clean quality to them. It sounds as if you have the balance in your life just right at the moment. That is something I'm aiming for.

Pipany said...

Well, for someone not feeling particularly creative just now that was pretty good! I think all creative people get these times and they tend to leave you feeling a bit disorientated don't they. Just go with it and it will return. Beautiful images x

Frances said...

Hello Sue, and thanks for raising all those creative questions in this post.

There are so many ways to be creative, and I know that you fill your life with many of these ways. Right now, I also wish that I had more of each day available to dream a bit. Feeling as if I am on a stress-powered treadmill, and so hope that the outside causes of that power will soon lessen. I would love to sit with a cup of tea and see that garden view you see.

Art and artist can have many meanings. Self-critique can be helpful, but also can eat into our potential. Good for us to nuture each other.

Rambling, but well-meaning. xo

Sally said...

I always find myself drawn to nature when the manic world we live in seems way too much - and what a lush, wonderful garden you have nurtured that is now nurturing you

Elizabeth Musgrave said...

I love the view down your garden Sue, so peaceful and green. i know just what you mean about quiet times although I don't think I am creative but sometimes I just need to drift and be a bit hopeless rather than do!

Sue said...

Thank you so much everyone for your lovely remarks, and Sally you are so right - nature is such a healing force. Thank you for commenting - I couldn't find any contact details to thank you personally :-(

Lorenza said...

Hi Sue! read your post and I've only wanted to say, to the part you write you don't have much creativity flowing at the moment, that your work and your writing is always inspirational, just looking at the photos of your garden makes me think about some wonderful embroidery of the white heart flower or those lovely green ferns!

I came across your work at the Xmas Craft Mafia Fair, at the Withworth Gallery, together with Ness' and Jackie's, and since then I have started sewing more and more, embroidery and took up crocheting thanks also to the memories of the lovely work of my grandma and aunt.

So, even if you feel you are not writing about creativity and new work, you still are very inspiring ;)

x

cottonreel said...

I have read your blog before and enjoy it immensely ,I love tha little track from your backdoor .I think we are all up to our ears this time of the year. . Would you join me as a follower please then I don,t have to go fishing around to find you ---cottonreel

A time to dance said...

Your photographs are amazing...I love the first one...its like a little ivory heart....